Yesterday would have been Neal and my 35th wedding anniversary.
I’ve been to three weddings already this year and have two more to go. Even though its been almost three years since Neal is gone, the weddings are still hard. Each one gets a little easier. Someone told me that they are hard because I had a good marriage. I would agree.
Vows in a wedding are not just tradition. Wedding vows are our committment to our spouse that we will remain faithful and legally married to each other to each other until one of them physically dies. Scripture teaches us to not go back on our vows. When you make a vow to the Lord, do whatever you promised Him (Deut. 23:21). From this day forward I promise……….until death do us part. I think some people believe that until death do us part means until the death of a relationship, making it easy to end a relationship.
The marriage covenant helps us understand what God has done, is doing and will do for us. God’s covenant love tells us that He doesn’t give up on us and neither should we give up on our marriage relationship. How can you show your spouse that you love them, respect them, cherish them, serve them? Looking back, I wish I had done more of that to Neal.
Britton shared a story yesterday in his teaching at church of how Neal wouldn’t tolerate the kids disrespecting me. Neal would tell them “You will NOT disrespect my wife that way.” The kids got the message and it made me feel so loved and respected by my husband. “Be considerate as you live with your wife, with respect.” 1 Peter 3:7
Neal was also very considerate. When I was working on my master’s , my program was online except for twice a year I had to go on campus in Minnesota for two weeks at a time, for 3 1/2 years. He encouraged me to do the program knowing I would be gone 4 weeks a year. Britton and Grant were in college, Whitney was in high school and Karsten and Collin were elementary school age. Neal knew that anytime I went away I wanted to come home to a clean house. And sure enough it was! Hard telling what it was like while I was gone but before I would come home Neal and the kids went on a cleaning rampage, even doing laundry!
I would love to still be married to Neal. Loving someone is one of the hardest work there is. But it is so worth the effort. It’s not true love because it’s easy, it’s because we worked at it.
Do something special and unexpected for your spouse today. Here’s an idea that Neal did, write a love note on the mirror with lipstick so that’s the first thing they see when they wake up! Don’t take your spouse for granted. They may be gone tomorrow.
On the journey,
Trish