Ancient of Days

This past week I went to the dermatologist for a body check since my deductible was met for the year.  I stood there in my underwear as the doctor checked me over.  “These little bumps are maturity spots.  Looks like you like the sun.  Yep, here’s some more maturity spots….”. Yes, I am getting old.:)

Thanksgiving weekend my mother-in-law turned 90years old!  Now, that’s maturity!  The family had a big blow out party for her at her church including family lunch, family pictures, birthday cake and an open house for her friends to come share birthday wishes.

Yes, she really is 90!
Yes, she really is 90!
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The whole Smith family- 47 of us (minus one grandson, his wife and child). What a legacy!!

There are really two views on aging:  The first view is that aging is looked upon as an incurrable disease.  We try to fight it or delay it by using anti-aging creams or hiding our grey hair at the beauty salon.  Sometimes an elderly person is made to feel useless, a burden to the family or cast off.  The other view about aging is that age is beautiful.  The elderly are wise, full of experience and demand dignity and respect.  It’s all matter of perspective.

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The bible tells us to “listen to our father, who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old.” (Proverbs 23:22)  We are to show respect for the aged (Lev. 19:32), honor them (Matt. 15:4; 18:18), listen to their wisdom (Job 12:12), and pay attention to their experience (Job 8:8).  We can learn from their good qualities and experiences as well as the not so good.  Either way, it still demands we spend time with the aging, honor and listen to them.

If we honor our father and mother it is “the first command with a promise:  things will go well for you, and you will live a long life on the earth.”  (Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1-3).  According to Merriam-Webster, honor means to show high respect, esteem, courtesy, thoughtfulness, mercy and kindly deeds.  The older redwood trees in the forest are more majestic.  The older wine and cheeses are said to have better taste.  It should be said of an elderly person, the more they are to be appreciated by others.  img_0764

How can I show respect and honor to the aging people in my life?   Even on days when I am frustrated and I don’t understand their thinking.   At the end of the day, the elderly are still adults with the right to make their own decisions- even poor ones-and they are responsible for their actions (unless they are not in their right mind).  I try to understand the motivation behind the aging person’s behavior.  What are they afraid of?  Are they acting this way to feel needed or appreciated or because they are depressed or confused?  I am still called to respect and honor an aging person.  I can set some clear boundaries but what are some practical ways to show that respect and honor?  For the people I am thinking of it might mean taking over a meal, offering to get some groceries for them, taking them to an appointment, not rushing them.

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God is sometimes referred to as “The Ancient of Days.”  He existed even before days were created (Genesis 1 & John 1).  God is often represented as ancient as he is “from the beginning to end” (Psalm 90:2) and “the First and the Last” (Is. 44:6).  The title “Ancient of Days” is found three times in Scripture; Daniel 7:9, 13, 22.  It refers to the time when God the Father sends to earth a second time to establish the Kingdom of God ( Matt. 24:30; Rev. 11:15).

As we look to celebrate the time when God sent his son to earth the first time to be born to a young teenage woman, let’s remember the Ancient of Days in the hustle and bustle.  He was, is, and will always be worthy of honor and praise.  This Ancient One was, is, and will be in control.

How can you show respect and honor to the aging people in your life during this holiday season and every day?  How can you show respect and honor to The Ancient of Days, whose kingdom shall not pass away?  Blessing and honor, glory and power be unto the Ancient of Days.

On the journey,

Trish

Until death do us part…..

Yesterday would have been Neal and my 35th wedding anniversary.

June 7, 1980
June 7, 1980

I’ve been to three weddings already this year and have two more to go.  Even though its been almost three years since Neal is gone, the weddings are still hard.  Each one gets a little easier.  Someone told me that they are hard because I had a good marriage.  I would agree.

Wedding #1 this year
Wedding #1 this year

Vows in a wedding are not just tradition.  Wedding vows are our committment to our spouse that we will remain faithful and legally married to each other to each other until one of them physically dies.  Scripture teaches us to not go back on our vows.  When you make a vow to the Lord, do whatever you promised Him (Deut. 23:21).  From this day forward I promise……….until death do us part.  I think some people believe that until death do us part means until the death of a relationship, making it easy to end a relationship.

The marriage covenant helps us understand what God has done, is doing and will do for us.  God’s covenant love tells us that He doesn’t give up on us and neither should we give up on our marriage relationship.  How can you show your spouse that you love them, respect them,  cherish them, serve them?  Looking back, I wish I had done more of that to Neal.

Britton shared a story yesterday in his teaching at church of how Neal wouldn’t tolerate the kids disrespecting me.  Neal would tell them “You will NOT disrespect my wife that way.”  The kids got the message and it made me feel so loved and respected by my husband.  “Be considerate as you live with your wife, with respect.” 1 Peter 3:7

Wedding #2
Wedding #2

Neal was also very considerate.  When I was working on my master’s , my program was online except for twice a year I had to go on campus in Minnesota for two weeks at a time, for 3 1/2 years.  He encouraged me to do the program knowing I would be gone 4 weeks a year.  Britton and Grant were in  college, Whitney was in high school and Karsten and Collin were elementary school age.  Neal knew that anytime I went away I wanted to come home to a clean house.  And sure enough it was!  Hard telling what it was like while I was gone but before I would come home Neal and the kids went on a cleaning rampage, even doing laundry!

Wedding #3
Wedding #3

I would love to still be married to Neal.  Loving someone is one of the hardest work there is.  But it is so worth the effort.  It’s not true love because it’s easy, it’s because we worked at it.

Do something special and unexpected for your spouse today.  Here’s an idea that Neal did, write a love note on the mirror with lipstick so that’s the first thing they see when they wake up!  Don’t take your spouse for granted.  They may be gone tomorrow.

On the journey,

Trish