What will you do with change?

 

Change can be unexpected, unwanted and hard. Recently I went back to Taylor University, my alma mater, for some meetings. So much change has occurred since my time at the school. This was the place I met and fell in love with my husband Neal. Anxious feelings were mounting.

After a stop at the historic Ivanhoe’s Restaurant for a lunch of the best-ever strawberry shortcake, I headed to the main entrance of campus

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I drove around to see all the many changes and additions of buildings and landscaping.  After parking my car, I walked the old “loop” past Neal’s dorm and into my dorm. Things looked pretty similar except gone is the land phone at the end of each hall that all the girls had to use to place and receive calls! Continuing the loop brought me to the old/new science building where Neal spent many hours.

Science building
Science building

The Reade Liberal Arts building was next on the loop where most of my classes met and the media center where many of my elementary education projects were assembled. Past the old student union building around to the newly renovated chapel auditorium and student union building which included a Chick-fil-A restaurant.  Since when do college campuses have fast-food restaurants? Now I am dating myself!

Where I spent most of my time!
Where I spent most of my time!
The renovation chapel and new student union
The renovation chapel and new student union

Before heading back to my car I finished the loop at the dining commons which looked the same from the outside.

I recalled many fond memories from my Taylor days, many with Neal.  Memories included walking hand in hand with Neal around the loop to classes and meals, and the place of our first kiss.  I found myself smiling most of the day!

The campus is vastly different since our years there. These changes are a sign of progress and growth, while maintaining the core mission of who Taylor is. My life has greatly changed since my days at Taylor, not what I had envisioned. I thought upon graduation I would marry Neal and grow old with him, teach school, become a mother and grandmother.  We would go on mission trips; possibly in retirement go into full-time mission work. Some of those things have happened but I never thought about life being difficult. We all have our difficult stories. Thinking about the future at Taylor did not include a difficult adoption, an employee stealing thousands of dollars, having breast cancer, spending hours at a counselor’s office, starting a church, not teaching full time, taking a different career path, Neal getting non- Hodgkin’s lymphoma and dying, and so on…

Life can take us down a different path than we imagined but it can be good. We tend to fear and become anxious about change because we do not feel in control of life. It takes us out of our comfort zone.

There is one who does not change – God. He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Malachi 3:6; Hebrews 13:8). He guides us in the way we should go (Psalms 32:8). The Lord himself will lead us and be with us. He will not fail us or abandon us (Deut. 31:8; Josh. 1:9).

This journey is not one I envisioned. The changes in my life have not been easy and definitely out of my comfort zone.  How we respond to what life throws at us is our choice.  We can become bitter, angry and feel miserable all the time. Or we can choose to accept these changes and learn from them. The changes in my life have brought growth in ways I could not imagine. I have experienced a deeper love for God and His peace and comfort.  I have done things I never thought I could do, like install a garbage disposal or corral cattle!

life is like underware

How will you choose to respond to change?

On the journey,

Trish

5 years cancer free!

1 lump…4 surgeries…12 rounds of chem…37 rounds of radiation…Being a survivor…PRICELESS!

Then...
Then…
Now...This survivor kicked cancer's butt!
Now…This survivor kicked cancer’s butt!

In May 2009, I was diagnosed with stage 3 invasive lobular breast cancer. a On June 1 I had a bilateral mastectomy.  I feel blessed to be among the 84% of women to survive to 5 years.  I have spent some time reading through my journal and blog posts from that time.  I repeatedly posted that I felt God’s peace through the journey and I felt that God was my rock, hope and strength.  He is sovereign and His ways are best.  I also had tremendous support from friends and family.

Verses that ministered to me during that time and continue to be some of my favorites are:

When I am weak He (God) is strong. Proverbs 19:21

Cast your cares on The Lord and He will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. Psalm 55:22

I, your God, have a firm grip on you and I’m not letting go.  I’m telling you; “Don’t panic I’m right here to help you.”  Isaiah 41:13

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, that transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

My friend gave me this bracelet during my treatment.  I have worn it everyday since. " Änd lo, I am with you always.   .Matthew 28:20
My friend gave me this bracelet during my treatment. I have worn it everyday since. ” Änd lo, I am with you always. .Matthew 28:20

I found pages of blessings where I chose to focus on the positives instead of dwelling on the situation.  “I am giving thanks today for being sore  because I know the chemo is doing its thing.”  “One benefit of having no hair is that it rained today and I didn’t have to worry about my hairdo!”  “Cancer has been a blessing because it has caused me to stop (the crazy busy scjhedule) and assess what is important.  I am not defined by what I do but by my being.  I am learning to be still and know God.”

It was during my treatment that I was doing a Beth Moore study called “Daniel.” Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were thrown into the firery furnance for refusing to bow down and worship the golden image of King Nebuchadnezzar.  Beth gave three different scenarios when people of God face a firey trail:

!.  We can be delivered FROM the fire.  When that happens our faith is built.  We could have our illness removed miraculously and give God glory.

2.  We can be delivered THROUGH the fire.  When that happend our faith is refined.  We go through the illness and emerge recovered.

3.  We can be delivered BY the fire into His arms.  When that happens our faith is perfected.  We succumb to the illness and go into the presence of God.

I wrote “In all honesty I am not ready at this point to face scenario C.”  Two years later Neal was in situation 3.  He was delivered into God’s arms and his faith is perfected.  I still don’t understand why some are healed and some are not.  It is a mystery of God but I do know that His ways are best.  I can trust Him.

I could have chosen to become bitter or angry during my illness (and beyond) but I would have been stuck and miserable.  It is scarey to step out and trust God.  I had to give up the idea that I was in control, that my business was a good thing, my ways were best, that God is someone that gives us what we want.  In all these NO! I chose to open myself to allow God to be ruler of my life and to move freely within me to do things within me and through me.  I still have my days when I want to be in control and get angry when things are hard.  God loves me anyway.  It is through my brokedness that God is transforming me to be used for His purposes.

I found this in my journal and I’m sorry I don’t know where it came from:

“Life is like a path.  At times it is straight and smooth–at other times it turns and becomes uneven.  We stay on this path because it’s here we find joy in the journey.”

God has us each on our own unique journey.  He goes before us and will be with us.  He will never leave us or forsake us.  We don’t need to be afraid. (Deut. 31:8)

On the journey,

Trish