Karsten, Collin and I just got back from helping my mother-in-law put away her Christmas decorations. This was her first Christmas without her husband. I was there last year. Life is not the same after the loss of a loved one. The holidays are a test of this reality: should we keep old traditions or start new ones; should we put up all the same decorations or modified/new ones? Its not like we want to forget our loved one but we need to move forward. This year was much easier in that respect for me.
I had a smaller tree this year with red, white and silver ornaments instead of our traditional ornaments we have had since 1980. We did keep the same tradition of how we open gifts; after we wake up Santa gift opened followed by stockings, breakfast, gift card games then rest of gifts.
Fondue was the same: cheeses, then meats, and chocolates for the sweet ending.
I think i am ready to make some changes next year in how I gift and fondue. I need to simplify. It’s not because Neal is gone but out of necessity with little ones. I am at the point where I can say it’s okay to make new traditions. Yes, we are leaving Neal behind but the reality is, he is not here with us. Actually, we found ourselves bringing up things about Neal many times during our time together. It was sad he was not here but yet it was comforting remembering things about him.
Here’s a perfect example of remembering Neal:
Britton and Grant were on the kitchen floor wrestling with their sons, just like their dad did. It warmed my heart.
Here’s a new tradition: Whitney and I introduced Michelle and Jenni to after Christmas shopping! We left at 5am and returned home by 10am with wrapping paper for next year and Christmas cling wrap and tin foil to use throughout the year.
My kitchen and living room are getting a face lift as part of my changes. It’s hard not to walk into the living room and remember Neal laying on the couch during his final days or seeing the hospital bed where he died in that room. It was time to make some changes. I started with my screened in porch and made it into a 4 seasons room extending off the kitchen. I had the sliding door taken out, windows put in place of the screens, the floor brought up and hard wood put down to match the kitchen. It isn’t quite finished but well on its way. Of course that led to refinishing the hardwood floors and painting the kitchen and living room. I have new furniture on the way for the living room. Here’s a sneak peek at the porch.
We can take the events that have happened in our lives and be bitter and stuck there or choose to learn from them and move forward. I choose to live in gratefulness, joy, praise and celebrate what God is and will do in my life. He is always on my side. Change can be good. God is the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. (Revelation 22:13) He is right in the middle helping us to walk through the changes. The beautiful thing is that He never changes.
Stay tuned to the other changes happening in my house!
On the journey,
Trish
