One suggestion from my grief support group was to write a letter to my friends and family to help you to understand some of what I am experiencing. So here goes…
Dear Family and Friends,
This last year has been far more difficult than I could have ever imagined. This process of grieving is messy and it will take months and even years to recover from the loss. There are no set steps to grieving–different emotions come and go in no set order and are often unexpected.
I wanted to let you know that I will cry from time to time. I don’t apologize for my tears since they are not a sign of weakness or lack of faith. They are God’s gift to me to express the extent of my loss and they are also a sign that I am recovering.
At times you may see see angry for no apparent reason. Sometimes I’m not sure why. All I know is that my emotions are intense because of my grief. Please be forgiving and patient with me. If I repeat myself again and again, please accept this as normal.
More than anything else I need your understanding and your presence. You don’t have to know what to say or even say anything. Your presence, a warm hug, or a listening ear speaks volumes to my heart. Please don’t wait for me to call since sometimes I feel too tired. If I tend to withdrawal from you, please don’t let me do that. I need you to reach out to me for several months.
It’s okay to share stories about Neal or Dale even if I cry. They warm my heart. Please don’t ignore or avoid me because you think I will be uncomfortable or you are uncomfortable. And please don’t make decisions for me about whether or not I would want to invited or go somewhere. Let me make those decisions for myself.
Please pray that God will use this time of grieving to grow me and equip me to do whatever He has for me. I know I will not just survive but thrive in ways I can’t even imagine.
Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for listening and praying. It means a lot.
On the journey,
Trish