It’s frustrating when there is no one in the house to talk to, or to share what happened in the day or bounce an idea off. Sometimes I feel empty inside and lonely. Sure I have friends but its different. It’s hard to explain why that is. There is a gal that lives here in Bridgman whose husband just died in May. We met last summer while I was waiting for the elevator at the University Of Chicago. She asked if I was Trish Smith and she explained she knew of me from another couple whose husband had a stem cell transplant that lives in southwest Michigan. Her husband was just getting his cells that week and that was the time Neal was in the hospital for the last time. They moved to Bridgman to retire a few years ago. Shortly after they moved here her husband became ill and they began the long process we had been through. So she doesn’t know many people here. We have been getting together at least once a week. It’s nice to have someone who understands what you have gone through. There is an instant bond. We can encourage one another.
Sometimes I desire more. Yet I have it. God has given the Holy Spirit to me and you who have chosen to follow God’s ways have it too. The spirit lives in me but I don’t think I am always empowered and directed by the Holy Spirit on an ongoing basis. I rely on myself in my situations, experience jealousy, fear, frustration, just to name a few. Trusting in God and His promises is the only way I can have my deepest longings and desires satisfied. Jesus said in John 10:10 that he “came so that they may have life, and may have it abundantly.” The Holy Spirit is God’s permanent presence with me (John 14:16,17). I have to empty myself of me to be filled with the Spirit. It’s not some mystical thing. I just have to get out of the way to let God do his thing. The presence of God in my life guides me, teaches me, warns me and assists me in all practical matters of my life. So I do have a friend with me at all times! And He promises to never leave nor forsake me-can’t beat that!
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22,23. If I am living by the Spirit these things will be evident in my life. Yikes- pretty convicting. The great thing is that none of us is perfect and yet God still loves us.
On the journey,
Trish