Here we go again. The Revlamid didn’t work as hoped so we are on to a different drug series that will require me being hospitalized for 4 days to track my liver and kidney function. I get to do it every 3 weeks for 4 sessions and then maybe 4 more.
I don’t look forward to having the flu like symptoms for a few days but the good news is I know what to expect to a great degree. And I get a whole new set of nurses to tell my jokes to. And this time after I lose my hair it may come in red?
We were thrilled when one of our MDs, a fellowship intern female about age 30 told us what the likely plan of action was. Then she followed up with “I know that people who are religious do much better with treatment. I am not religious but I know you are. Do you feel like you don’t have control of things?” (implying that God controls everything and we have no say). I told her that God gives me a peace that passes all understanding. Plus I noted that all of us will die (although I prefer later to sooner). Trish noted that we (Trish and I) know where we will end up – with God. I do not believe we are puppets but God uses everything for good to those who love Christ Jesus.
This conversation is actually a continuation of one I had with her during my 40 minute bone marrow biopsy several months ago. Dr. M asked at that time how I was doing adjusting psychologically to having the bone marrow transplant and I also referred to the peace that God has given me. Interestingly she asked to follow me and my treatment if I could come on Mondays. It didn’t matter to me so I honored her request.
Some of you reading this may think “Does God care? Where is He?” I can tell you yes he loves you and cares about each thing that happens. I can’t explain the peace he gives us even though I occasionally have anxious thoughts – that is part of being human. What other hope do we have? He is always by you, you just need to ask God to show himself to you. Everyone must come to a point that they realize they are not in control of their life and need Jesus.
Be stretched,
Neal